Archive for the Humor Category

Killswitch Effluvic Reservoir

Posted in Humor, Magick, Merchandise, Psionics & Radionics with tags , , , , , on 2012-05-19 by eianorange

We’ve been making some headway in the Chaosorcery department. Working packet in packet with a small research team from around the globe towards the elemental development and alchemical advancement of reverse engineered hand-held wetware devices for use in counter population brainwave manipulation. These puppies rival any improvisation that orgone technologies can muster.

Radionics and Psionics seem to pose the only viable threat to these hand-crafted devices and their sister beta test phase devices.

These and many other hand-crafted materials will be available soon through our brand spankin’ new catalog of ordinary merchandise and metaphysical supplies. Including CDs, apparel, and private personalized protocol keys that allow the would-be chaosorcer limited access to our Killswitch Effluvic Reservoir or K.E.R. for short. It represents a sort of pool of gnosis including both ecstatic (eckstasis) and inhibitory (katalepsis) modes of experiential catharsis.

Once a given individual gains access to the K.E.R. they are allowed to use it both ways like the slut that it is. What I mean is the would-be chaosorcerer can download as much free gnosis as he or she desires just so long as they put it back at a later date; preferably when the would-be chasorcerer’s Will has been sufficiently impressed upon the world surrounding them and their will aligns with their perception.

By the same token, the would-be chaosorcerer may upload gnosis of any manner of potency in order to up the ante a bit and challenge newcomers to advance their skills at achieving original gnostic states. While the would-be chaosorcerer may download a more massive payload at one time for use in more complex requests.

Nothing has Being hand of z0s Everything has Value

A brief moment of clarity

Posted in Humor, Magick, Psionics & Radionics with tags , , , , , , , on 2011-12-25 by eianorange

Just to let our readership know what we’ve been up to these past few months and what to expect in the near future…

Aside from dropping a new album this month named Those Outside with artwork for the album cover taken care of by one of our own, the illustrious Jesse Mead. A beast of a bad ass artist.

We’ve also made a debut on grindcorekaraoke.com a site which is run by Jay Randall of Agoraphobic Nosebleed. He contacted us about including a few of our albums on his free download project site.

There wasn’t a question in our mind about unloading three of our past albums, namely Indecipher (which he was initially excited about), Xenopomorphic Pink Noise, and Pseudonyms For Somnambulance to the greater cause of more downloads and more exposure.

For those of you following our Reverb Nation page we’ve piqued at #8 in the ‘spiritual’ genre in the greater NY/NJ metro area. So if you know anyone on Reverb Nation please point them our way. We don’t ask that fans subscribe to our (non-existent) mailing list nor any other superfluousness. No bells or whistles, just fan us and maybe say something nice and we’ll gladly fan you back.

Nothing has Being hand of z0s Everything has Value

The Calling

Posted in Humor, Initiation, Magick, Satanism on 2011-06-07 by eianorange

As Sr. adviser in charge of WannaZee candidacy initiatory rites it falls upon me to remind the general public about ZZ protocol. We here at node Z.’.Z.’. offer no promises nor pathways save for one (which does not apply to veteran meme-bearers): candidates must endeavor to build themselves up (physically, psychologically, and emotionally) in a visible manner which suits the Initiatory Aggregate who treat such matters as would the old, curmudgeonly muppets in the balcony.

We will prescribe no particular magickal formula to follow at this time. The candidate may pick from any mind-body discipline he or she deems worthy of further practice, but it must be a holistic practice balancing the Ego and the ID, the yin and the yang, the peanut butter and the jelly, the hot dog and the bun. No overnight Ipsissimus, please.

To enter the final stages of initiation, the candidate will have to privately commit every act on THE LIST which will be provided once the Initiatory Aggregate gives the go ahead. It is vital to the candidates progress that they commit every act on THE LIST no matter how trivial some of the requests may seem.

We will never ask you to do anything that is illegal or injurious to any living creature. Z(enseider)Z is all about having fun with magick and not taking it so seriously but with purposefulness behind it all. We renegade hedge mages would do well to focus on stretching the limits of the unremarkable, mundane, grey world through an alchemical process that turns your useless queen high into pocket aces and turns procrastination and laziness into creativity and productivity.

Satan works in mischievous weighs.

And we survive by uncertain means. Truly it is a blessing from below that our enchantments serve to push our motivational factor into high gear. Through a rigorous process of locating the coordinates, identifying the target, and activating deeply rooted genetic memory, the candidate is in essence hacking into an aetheric network. By this time initiates should be engaged in one or more of our daily practices which include sound concentration, sigil making, bi-location, some light necromancy, engaging in time spinning, cautious demonology, prolonged opioid binges, heated political debate with amorphous blob-gods from the Zeta Reticuli, or macaroni pictures before nap time.

“I’m thinking of a sort of group enchantment that causes us all to be way more productive, motivated and creative than we would normally be”   —Kara Rae Garland

Nothing has Being hand of z0s Everything has Value